The Woes of Pottermania
by spwarkle
Summary: A list of 100 problems with being a Potterhead.


**A list of 100 things that identify you as a Potterhead and problems with being one**

Harry Potter is mention briefly and everyone in class turns to look at you

You can't explain how much Harry Potter means to you

You desperately want to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter but you live too far away

You sit around on every birthday waiting for an owl to arrive with your Hogwarts letter, despite the fact you are no longer 11

When somebody attempts to argue with you about Harry Potter, your friends all leap to your side and tell them not to bother, they will never outsmart you

You have random moments where you just want to cry because Harry Potter is over

You've read your copies of the books more times than you can count and yet, still no enough

Somebody will mention something that is barely related to Harry Potter and you immediately join their conversation

You've had a duel with cleverbot

A small part of you doesn't want AVPT to ever happen, because then, it truly will have ended

You yell "Alohomora" every time somebody asks you to open a door

You feel the urge to use the Cruciatus Curse on anybody who tells you that Harry Potter is just a series of books

You often break twigs off of trees and announce to people that they are your new wand

You are not ashamed to walk the streets with your Hogwarts uniform on

The random new kid at school only knows you as "The Harry Potter geek"

You didn't get into Pottermore and are insanely jealous of the people who did

You have constant disagreements with your non-Potterhead friends

On Sports day, you cheer on Ravenclaw rather than whatever tacky name your school has given it's blue house

You compare all of your school teachers to Hogwarts teachers

You replace your normal timetable with a Hogwarts one, switching Physics for Astronomy, and languages for Ancient Runes

You use the 1st of December as an excuse to ear your Christmas hat, and tell anyone who asks that it's Hogwarts memorabilia

A random friend sends you a picture from the paper because it had Emma, Rupert and Dan in it

You argue with your family over how everything can be related to Harry Potter, from blackboards to aeroplanes

You've had a detention for yelling at your English teacher when s/he suggested Harry Potter wasn't a decent piece of literature

You've had a detention for arguing with your drama teacher that the Harry Potter cast _can_act

Somebody won't hand something to you, so you cast "Accio" in the hope it will work

You dress up as a Harry Potter character for World Book Day

You dress up as Harry Potter for Halloween

You're putting off buying DH2 so that you don't have to truly reach the end

You can't understand why you're friends don't panic when they see Harry die in the film, especially since they haven't read the book

You come out of the cinema and spend the next hour critically comparing every detail of the movie to the book, which you have in the car

If JK Rowling told you to "rise and march", you would

You doodle Harry Potter quotes all over your Maths book and get in trouble for wasting paper

Your younger brother has to ask why Harry was so obsessed with tracking down random items in the last two films and you almost have a heart attack

You've read the entire series and all of the spin-off books and panic because you don't know what to read next, so you return to the beginning

You have periodic Harry Potter marathon weekends with the few friends that are truly Potterheads, where you watch all eight films and both musicals and cry hysterically

Watching Snape die still makes you cry

You have the Harry Potter soundtrack on your phone

You think that you've liked every single Harry Potter page on facebook and then discover that one more

You wish the series about the spin-off series (Albus Potter and the something) were true

You often accuse your friends of being muggles when they don't understand a reference  
>-You even sometimes go as far as to call them a <em>filthy<em>muggle when they say something rude about Harry Potter

You yell "Avada Kedavra" each time you get into an argument with somebody, and then walk away

Every post on your newsfeed is from a Harry Potter group, except one or two, which are from irritating muggles complaining that their boyfriend has broken up with them or that their shoes don't go with their hat

You sometimes wish that Harry hadn't killed Voldemort because then there might be more books

Harry Potter is the only film you have ever seen at midnight

Everytime you see somebody (or something) ginger, you want to name it Ron or Ginny Weasley

Every other sentence out of your mouth is related to either the books, the films or the musicals

One person in the class mentions Harry Potter and everybody else turns to stare at you

Random people you've never met before come up to you at school and ask you something about Harry Potter

You wish you could afford to buy the entire Hogwarts uniform in your house colour, but in reality you can't even afford the tie

Random people get you Harry Potter related things for Secret Santa

You tell your friend to go and die in a hole when they say something rude about Harry Potter

People often ask why you're at school with them if you aren't a muggle. You tell them the owl carrying your letter was eaten by the infamous Hogwarts Jaguar and there just hasn't been time to send another one

Harry Potter hasn't been released digitally yet so you don't know what to do with your e-book

You start watching a TV show just because they made one Harry Potter reference in the pilot

Your life is ruined when you discover your best friend hates Harry Potter

You read Twilight and the further in you got, the more you realised how many things were "coincidentally" similar to Harry Potter. You realise that if it wasn't a rip-off and had a more substantial plot, it might have been a good series

You wish that you could just have caught one glance of Teddy during the "19 years later" scene in the film

You have to walk through the streets with a Death Eater mask on to meet anybody local who is even slightly as obsessed as you are

You complain constantly because Harry Potter is English and America got the theme park

You get ridiculously excited when you find Harry Potter words in the dictionary

When it snows, you stay home and read the books, pretending you are Hermione up in Gryffindor tower whilst everyone else makes noise outside

You wonder why Percy Weasley wasn't a Ravenclaw

In the beginning, Harry and Ginny were the cutest couple, then Ron and Hermione were suddenly addictively tense, and then you saw Matt Lewis as Neville and he and Luna were the most important couple to you

You put forward "Quidditch" as a suggestion for a new sport that your school should teach

You don't bother getting a boyfriend because none could ever compare to any of the fictional Harry Potter characters

You see the Harry Potter party on "Yes, man" and when somebody sarcastically asks if you want to be there, you scream "YES!" at the top of your voice

You never do your English homework because, lets face it, Harry Potter is so much more interesting than Macbeth or a Jane Austen novel

The only thing you and your mortal enemy agree on is that Harry Potter is awesome

You realise your school library only has four of the books and immediately beg them to buy the rest, for the sake of future generations

When you are forced to disown your sister because you discover she is a Slytherin

Pretending Jelly Beans are Bertie Botts Beans and then coming across one that really does taste like earwax and wondering what it was supposed to be

You quickly discover that it isn't the done thing to go into a public loo and hiss at the sink to see if it will open a secret chamber

When somebody won't believe you're a Potterhead and asks you a how many players there are on a quidditch team and you answer, with a full description of each position and examples of players in both Hogwarts and Professional leagues

You hear somebody saying they are going to Harry Potter world and instantly become their best friend in the hope that they will take you with them

Not knowing who to ship because the books, films and fanfics all give you different ideas

You feel the urge to laugh at Hufflepuff's although you don't know why

You wish there had been more Hufflepuffs in the books

After noticing one little problem with a fanfic, like spelling a word wrong or a fact they've misunderstood, you have to stop reading because it is off-putting

You get really excited when you realise you can remember every small detail of the plot of the books, then depressed because there is no more reason to read them  
>-You read them anyway<p>

You steal your friends phone and change all of the contacts. You can't resist setting yourself as "The Chosen One"

You decide which friends would best represent which characters, and this changes the way you view them

The realisation the DVD's aren't going to be sold makes you want to break down and cry

Your grandparents tell you that they once knew a man called Harry Potter, but then go on to explain he is head, and would have been almost one hundred by now

You have re-enacted almost every scene in your head with yourself in the place of one of the characters

You are embarrassed by yourself when you realise your computer doesn't know the words "Gryffindor", "Hufflepuff", "Ravenclaw", "Slytherin", "Voldemort", "Hogwarts" or "Dumbledore"

You wish with all your heart that you could replace your family with the Weasley's, especially the twins

You start loosing followers on twitter because of your incessant tweeting about Harry Potter

You're terrified that one day you will run out of Harry Potter things to do and panic about what to do once that day has come

You are determined to one-day visit King's Cross Station, because every time you go to London, your parents insist there are more important things to do

You tell people you're a Gryffindor and they automatically assume you haven't been sorted, you just want to be like Harry

You tell people you're a Slytherin and they automatically see you as evil

You tell people you're a Hufflepuff and they automatically think you are stupid

You tell people you're a Ravenclaw and they automatically assume you are a bookworm

People automatically assume that Ravenclaw's animal is a Raven

Not enough people know what the Hogwart's motto is

You wonder who decided that Seamus Finnigan had a talent for blowing things up, and thank heaves they did

You can't decide which character you would most like to meet

You have no memory on your computer because of all of the Harry Potter images saved to it

You are in love with a series of books

**That's it (for now) because it's late at night and I'm tired. If you liked it, drop a review.**

**Oh, and ten house points to anyone who can guess what house I'm in ;)**

****Spwarkle****


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